Mmere Dane: The Unstoppable Influence of Time

The topic of faith has always been an interesting one to me. I’m probably one of the least religious people you will ever meet. I like to consider myself more of a spiritualist: I believe there is a higher force somewhere out there influencing the actions we take and the development of our world, and I find it a little immature to believe theres a guy with a long white beard, waiting behind some big pearly gates with a book of everything I’ve done in my life, ready to cast judgement on me as to whether I should hang out up in the clouds or sweat gallons in hell for the rest of eternity. I don’t mean to offend anyone who is religious – by all means do what you must to help you get through life – but don’t get into a conversation with me about it because it is one of those topics I’m extremely stubborn about.

Before I get attacked and labeled a heretic let me warn you right now: THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION. Like I mentioned before, I believe there are higher forces that influence our lives and I thought I should take the time to share a facet of my belief system that I have developed throughout my life. One of these influences that I honor and respect the most will probably throw some off because it isn’t commonly thought about as something that influences us, but rather sometimes that passes us by. This force is Time.

I didn’t always perceive time as a mighty force of nature that controlled our lives. If you had asked me what time was three years ago, I probably would have given you a very generic answer like, “time is the minutes that pass in the day or something. Why are you asking me such a stupid question anyways?” However, during my final years in high school the seeds of this belief began to be implanted in my brain and slowly grew through my experiences in college. My high school years were a very dark time where my self-esteem and self-perception were distorted by the ridicule I faced during my upper-level classes (let’s just say being a freshman in a classroom full of juniors/seniors didn’t make me the most popular kid in the school). To make an unbearably long and sad story brief, during my junior year I decided to take the time and turn my life around. I wasn’t happy with my situation and one of the biggest roots to this problem was my weight. I believed that if I lost weight, I would learn to become more confident, and with that confidence, happiness would follow. After dropping from 270 pounds to 205 in less than a year’s time, I finally found some sense ofyself through the recognition I was being given for such a drastic weight change.

I call it..."Freshman Year"

With this newfound confidence, I walked into college thinking I was going to breeze right through my first year and become the social person I always knew I was meant to be, but I was wrong. All entering college showed me was that I was even more insecure about myself than I was before my weight loss because I had no idea who I was. The notice I gained from the weight loss was pure surface value, but I did nothing to trim the fat kid that was still in the back of my mind. I fell back into a slump after my first semester and this reflected in my interaction with my fellow students. I began isolating myself because I lost my trust in others, but also the trust I had in myself. Thankfully, my experiences in high school showed me one thing: if I was determined to make a change about my situation, I could change it and find a sense of happiness. This journey of change took a lot of stress, struggles, and some mild depression, but after a year and a half of soul-searching and campus involvement I managed to forge the person that I am today.

I didn’t realize these changes at first; I had become so wrapped up in defining who I was through my actions that I completely forgot that the reason I was striving to do so much was because I was attempting to find out who I was in the process. One day, while sitting in the student center after a day of running inbetween meetings, my friend Jessica Urraca stood next to me and told me, “You’ve grown so much in the past two years.” I don’t think she realized the impact her words created but the moment she spoke those words my mind stopped in its tracks andbegan to reevaluate everything I had gone through during my first and second years in college. I really did change in comparison to who I was when I first stepped foot on campus. I became a coodinator in events and meetings that I couldn’t have ever imagined taking part of had you asked me when I was a freshman. I began to realize the impact that time was having on me, but this realization was only the tip of the immense iceberg of an epiphany I was about to embark on. I don’t think I ever told her this, but if she is reading: THANK YOU JESSICA!

After this day, I decided to get a tattoo to honor the changes I had made in such a short amount of time. I didn’t know what it was I wanted to get, but I knew that there was something out there for me and with just a little bit of searching, I would know exactly what it was. I was determined to get a symbol and I was even more determined to get it on my shoulder (because I thought it would be cool and concealable had I wanted to pursue a professional career). During my internet searches, I stumbled upon a website full of Adinkra symbols (visual symbols created by the Akan and Gyaman tribes of West Africa that represent concepts or aphorisms). I was amazed by the dozens of symbols these tribes used to represent certain ways of thought and although these symbols were simple, they held so much meaning. I became wrapped up in their interpretations and began researching each one until I came across this one:

Mmere Dane / "Time Changes"

Mmere Dane, or as it is translated on adinkra.org, “time changes.” I don’t know what it was, but the moment I saw it this symbol it resonated with me. I learned that it was a representative of changeand the naturally occuring dynamics of life. I came to understand that Time was one of the most powerful forces in the world because it is the one thing that cannot be stopped. It is impossible for us to control Time in any way, shape or form; no matter what we do, everything is subject to change under the influence of Time. It might take millions of years for a drastic change to occur, but the fact is that Time still eventually had its way. I was victim to the influence of Time as well, because in a matter of three years I had become a completely different person both inside and out.

I proceeded to get the symbol tatooed on my right arm, but I still felt something was missing. I respected Time in the sense that it was this unstoppable force that could not be rivaled, but I began to realize that I was still missing the bigger picture. The only reason why I had undergone such an intense change was because I wanted to go through the change. I had set the pieces in motion to my growth and took the actions required to become this new individual. It was true, Time was an unstoppable force, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be influenced. I could have changed in a million different ways thanks to Time, but only I decided where that change was directed towards. The influence was going to succumb to Time’s will, but I ultimately had the power to direct it. I felt like the bodily proclamation of my changes was incomplete, until I randomly came across this quote while surfing the web:

“Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire.”

Jorge Luis Borges, in “A New Refutation of Time” (1946)

This was it! This quote embodied my perception of time and I didn’t even have to write it myself! Borges’ quote was the answer to my confusion and the moment I read it, I felt required to add it on to the Mmere Dane tattoo.

The reason why I wanted to share this personal anecdote was to show two things. First, I wanted to give an example as to how I framed my own personal belief system. I much rather rely on my experiences and interactions in the world to show me what I should honor and hold dear. Based on the growth that I endured between high school and college, I undersood the power that time and change had, but also the power I posessed when I utilized the two effectively. Secondly, I wanted to share with you my personal definition of time. In case you didn’t discern exactly how I define time, I decided to give it a little bit of dictionary treatment:

Time -n: the influential force that consistenly passes as it continually causes change. One of the most unstoppable occurences in existence, but also one of the most controllable. All fall prey to its flow, but only those who are aware learn to properly harness it to reap its benefits. Extremely easy to lose, impossible to get back, but all the more valuable, precious, and limited.

-The Chaser